Build Confidence at Work: Why You Need a Learning Circle

We are more open to unsolicited feedback than we’ve ever been. 

Social feeds, comment sections, Slack messages, Teams chats, performance tools. Everyone has an opinion and thanks to hybrid and remote working, much of that feedback now comes through a screen. 

The problem is that feedback these days can feel harsher than it’s intended to be. 

When you’re not in the room, you miss the body language, the tone shifts, the quick smile that softens a sentence. What’s left can feel blunt, overly critical or personal. And over time, that kind of feedback can quietly knock confidence, especially for people who already hold themselves to high standards. 

That’s why I’m a huge advocate for building your own learning circle. 

Your learning circle

A learning circle isn’t about avoiding feedback but more about balancing it with thoughtful viewpoints 

The circle is intended to give you a trusted space to sense-check what you’re hearing, separate signal from noise, and reflect without spiralling into self-doubt. 

Your learning circle should ideally include people who play three different roles. 

Every learning circle needs three types of people

In my experience, the strongest learning circles include three different types of support. Each plays a different role in helping you process feedback, stay grounded and grow your confidence at work.

The Questioner 

This is the person who holds up the mirror. They ask thoughtful, sometimes uncomfortable questions that help you see situations differently. They don’t flatter you, but they’re fair. They help you slow down, reflect and get curious rather than defensive. 

The Believer 

This person sees your potential even when you can’t. They champion you, remind you of your strengths and nudge you forward when confidence wobbles. They’re not cheerleaders for the sake of it. They believe in you because they know you. 

The Bridge 

The bridge connects you. They open doors, make introductions, invite you into rooms you might not put yourself forward for. They help turn confidence into opportunity by widening your world. 

Together, these people form your personal board of directors.

They keep you grounded when feedback feels heavy. They help you stay focused when self-doubt creeps in. And most importantly, they support your growth without an agenda. 

Confidence doesn’t come from shutting out feedback. It comes from learning how to process it well, in the company of people who want you to succeed. 

Do you have a learning circle? And if not, who might you start inviting in? 

You can find out more about how to decode your confidence through my weekly podcast series Decoding Confidence or you can pre-order my brand new book Decoding Confidence: The 7 Habits of Confident Leaders. 

*You can listen to my podcast on your favourite platform.